What Is “Beautiful” ?

I looked up this exact sentence on Google and guess what popped up? Thousands of images of fair skinned, thin women. I have a problem with this. Am I not beautiful ? I live in a country where Western standards of beauty that is, the Google Image Results of “Beautiful” is considered perfect. But India isn’t a country where you can come across that pale skin color. It’s true people consider me to be on the lighter scale of brown but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not pale. And I’m certainly not thin. My weight has fluctuated all my life because of Hashimoto’s Disease and no matter how much I work out, it doesn’t help a lot. I have noticed, my extended family members, some of my peers and my teachers back at school complimented me on how good I looked when I was comparatively thinner. When I gained weight they would point that out and often mean it as if that’s really degrading.

For so many years women have been taught to value themselves based on other’s judgements of them, especially that of a man and it’s painful because I’ve been a victim of this exact same thing and I’m sure other women have been too. It’s like being married or engaged is the biggest accomplishment. You run a business ? Cool. But do you have a boyfriend ? This is society’s perception of a woman’s worth, even today. And that’s not the worst thing about it. “You don’t have a boyfriend ? You must lose or gain some weight.” “But you’re so beautiful, why don’t you have a boyfriend ?” These are the two most popular sentences that we come across related to this topic. Why don’t people understand that this triggers some of the major decisions that one may take up.

Another important factor that has made society’s perception of “beautiful” so messed up is social media and the fashion industry. You see images of thousands of models online posing in swimsuits, flaunting their bodies and most of them are so thin that it almost looks unhealthy. I understand many of them spend 2-3 hours at the gym and while I support workouts and I do my yoga regularly, I also do think you should be able to enjoy food without feeling guilty about it. I’ve heard these supermodels say that they do extra 25 mins of cardio for every one bite of pizza they have. I mean, WHY? For God’s sake, you’re already working out so hard. The designers will be forced to give you a job if all of you riot and speak up against this and ask them to accept you the way you are. You have a voice. Please speak up and take a stand. There are so many young girls out there looking in the mirror and criticizing themselves because they don’t have a body like these supermodels. Then there are models like Ashley Graham trying their best to change this but they are labeled “Plus-Size” models and not Supermodels because the later can only be associated with someone who is thin. Coming to social media, my disliking for the Kardashians is nothing new at this point I’m sure of that. Huge thighs and butt, so tiny waist, huge breasts and full lips – all outcome of surgeries. I don’t think they understand what kind of influence they are on our youth. I’ll end this specific topic here because I can go on and on about it but nothing will happen because just me speaking up isn’t enough, not as long as these supermodels and influencers, who actually are an important part of the fashion industry decide to open their eyes.

Let’s talk about racism now, shall we ? Bleaching is so famous these days because “Black isn’t good enough”. 70% of Africa, China and almost 50% of America is filled with people of color but you’ll only spot fair-skinned people on the banners of campaigns. This stirs up the mindset in young people that their skin color is not beautiful or ideal.

It’s worth mentioning that although women are primary victims of Body-shaming, racism – this is gender neutral. Men are victims too. In all my blog posts, I’ve generally spoken about women’s issues because I’m a woman myself and it’s easier to write things off my perspective. I want to talk about things that men go through but I can’t bring myself to do it because I’m a victim of the patriarchy. No offense and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I don’t hate men, I just hate our society for treating them as the superior gender and making them think that anything they do, they’ll get through with it.

I’d like to conclude this blog post by saying that, stand in front of a mirror today. Look at yourself, all of yourself and remind yourself that you’re beautiful. You don’t need to live up to Society’s standards of beautiful. Don’t hide your scars, they are your battle marks that make you glorious. You are yourself and that is powerful enough. You deserve everyone’s love because that is nothing compared to what you’re worthy of. And tomorrow, pass your positivity on to someone else. Please also understand that there’s a difference between being healthy and being malnourished. No matter how you look, work out atleast 3 hours every week and eat healthy.

Love,

Milly.